LoveandGuns90

Now some poetry from FN.
Enjoy.


LONELINESS
Friedrich Nietzsche

The crows scream
And flying into town with the buzz:
The snow will fall soon-
Be happy is he who is now still having homeland!

Now you're standing rigidly,
Looking at back, ah! How long already!
Why are you an idiot
Because winter in the world- escape?

The world is gate
To a thousand of dumb and cold deserts!
Which loss,
Which you are lose, will not stop anywhere.

Now you're standing palely,
to be cursed to wander the winter,
Like smoke,
Whom are looking for a cooler sky always.

Fly, bird, sing
Your song in tone-desert-bird! -
Hide it, you're a fool,
Your bleeding hearts is in the ice and ridicule!

The crows scream
And flying into town with the buzz:
The snow will come down soon
Woe to him who doesn't have homeland!
***

Gonna be all 'Emo' here, but I'm really losing the ability to trust people anymore. :<

I was curious as to why one of my friend's decided to block, then delete my name from Myspace (I barely check the thing, but still). I have a feeling the real reason why she probably blocked me was because of this incident that occured over the summer, but I didn't have much control over that situation because I was in the hospital when my family decided to 'take care of it'. :/

So anyways, I adventured over to her livejournal and found that she ended up talking bad about me (plus she mentioned some other-private things, as well) in one of her journal-posts about a year ago or so. I wanted to be mad. I wanted to say something back, but I just couldn't. Instead I sent the link to a couple of friends of mine and told them that I was utterly heart broken over it.

Of course this also makes me think about another friend of mine who ended up ditching me because of whatever. I think I kind of want to crawl into a hole and die at this point. T^T

I must be messing up somewhere with these people, so perhaps I should just give up on trying to become friends with others for a while. Though, I still care about the folks that I just mentioned already.  

On another note; I have another infection of the ear after it randomly bled last night. Going to the doctors tomorrow it get it checked out.

*sigh* That's all for right now.

So I went to see my friend, Justin. I spent two nights with him while Brad was away on a family trip to Gatlinburg, and I didn't exactly feel like being alone for the weekend. It was really fun, and we managed to do an all nighter (stayed up for hours~) and then spent second night up until about 2am.

The funny part is that after we stayed up all night, we had to go to a church in Oakridge afterwards. It was interesting, but almost painful because of my knee-issue to try to stand during the session (which lasted for about an hour and a half).

Well, besides that I ended up getting sick while over there because David (Justin's Step-dad) was ill with a cold, and because of my immune system, I obviously caught it.

I didn't think much about it until now because I'm having the same symptoms as last year's pneumonia, so I'm worried I may have it again along with another kidney infection (<--- yeah, those won't go away...). If I'm right, well I'll be stuck in the hospital again for another week if unlucky. I'll be heading over to the doctors today to find out if I do or not. <--- Wish me luck that I just have a cold or something along those lines.

Am I personally scared about it? A little bit.

Another note: To the person I miss the most right now; I hope you're doing well and that when you're personally ready to talk to me again, please IM or PM me so I may know that you're OK. I'm not mad/upset, and that I'm being very understanding of why you're gone. I love you, and always will. <3

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and that you all have a great New Years.

Edit: I have an upper-respiratory infection and an ear infection. Just thought everyone should know the results of yesterday's visit.

So my family decided to plan a trip to see my brother, his wife (my sister-in-law), and their 1 year old daughter. This is fine and dandy with me besides the fact that I'll most likely not see my dad on this trip, which makes me a little disappointed.

On a good note: Brad will be attending this trip, as well.

(We're leaving on Wednesday, btw)

Plus this will be the first year without my old childhood home around for the Holidays. Of course, this brings some grief when you think about it.

My only wish while on this weekend affair is that nothing terrible happens, and everyone gets along. There are a couple of people in my family who disagree a lot on certain topics, and usually end up starting ridiculous arguments with each other. Then they make the rest of the family uncomfortable.

Anyways, other than that, I went out and saw the movie Bolt yesterday. It was pretty decent, and some parts made me chuckle just a bit during the film. The only issue I had with the movie would be the fact I noticed some major parts of the film where it sounded like the producers entirely went ahead and stole plot/character ideas of Toy Story 1 and 2.

I would personally recommend you seeing this latest Disney Movie if you have a little brother or sister, or even perhaps a younger niece/nephew (Or... In my case... A very, very gay, child-like best friend) along with you.  

That's it for now. I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving this coming Thursday!

- <3 Gunny



(Gonna go ahead and tell you guys what I'm thankful for~)
What I'm Thankful For: My Close Friend; CJ. :3

I've been trying to get out more lately in order to still have some-what of a social life. .___.

So I wasn't online yesterday, and probably figured KALA was either curious of my disappearance or worried that maybe something horrible happened to me. <--- If not, :<

BUT NO! ... I was just hanging out with 'real people' in the 'real world'.

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Anyways, for KALA-news from Ill Girl:

I have a fanfiction I'm working on for ZeroxGunny, but I'm also planning a secret Yaoi pairing fic that, as well. :3

For art, I should probably have some sketches of different pairings in a few days. Depending on my mood I may have it done sooner.

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Well, I'm off to play SIMS 2 (I am fucking addicted to that game, even though a third installment will be coming out soon).

Love you guys, and I hope I see you on AIM!

- LaG